Doubt.
I always knew there had to be something wrong with me... I'm thirty something, single, and I spend most of my time reading books... I am what most of you would call a "geek"...I've always been labeled that way, and I'm perfectly fine with it... but people don't really know me...
I have a secret. A secret so dark that it could make a lot of people mad... so far away that I'd never hear from them again in my life...
And I think it's time I tell it to the world... It was 18 years ago... I was young and scared... he was 10 older than me and he promised me the world... looking back, I think I could've loved him. But of course, I was a young, stupid girl amazed at this 27-year-old Harvard lawyer...
One night, we went to a party... I had to lie to my parents and sneak out of my house to meet him... when we got there, the booze started flowing and the drugs started coming up... that was my first time drinking and obviously I got drunk... we went up to a bedroom on the 2nd floor and we did what everyone does at a party while being drunk...
The hit came 2 weeks later... I was pregnant. I called my best friend and she gave me this card from a clinic... I went there and I had an abortion. I haven't told this to anyone ever... Seven years later, I met another man... we were great together, he asked me to marry him... and I did. A year later, we decided it was time to start a family... after a long time trying unsuccessfully for a year, I went to a doctor to find out what was going on... It turns out, when I had the abortion something went wrong... and whatever it was, it made barren permanently.
I had to tell my husband about this. He left me a month later. I haven't been with anyone since... Looking back, now I realize having that abortion was a mistake. A huge mistake... even if that guy didn't step up to the challenge of being a father, I would've... they told me it was a girl. She'd be 18 by now...
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8:50 PM
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